Cooties: Friendship, Dating, Etc.

This past Sunday, we began our new sermon series for the middle school ministry for the month of February.  Cooties is a series about friendships, dating, identity, and sexual purity.  For four weeks we are going to be looking at what we can learn about dating and relationships during the middle school years.

More Than Friends

During middle school, it is very normal for people to begin having the desire to be "more than friends."  Because of the changes that are happening, during this age we begin to look at the opposite sex differently.  While 3rd graders focus on playing tag with the opposite gender, 7th graders begin to have all kinds of ideas about what it means to be boyfriend and girlfriend.  These new attractions are normal; it's part of growing up.  Now, what we do with these new attractions is a very important discussion to have.

Is Dating in Middle School Beneficial?

The Bible doesn't ever say that dating in middle school is a sin, so I cannot say that it is not allowed.  It might be a sin, however, if dating in middle school is causing you to sin in the way you're treating others, the way you're talking or what you're doing with your significant other, or if your parents say you are not allowed.  But let's say none of this is happening, is dating in middle school beneficial?

In 1 Corinthians 10:23 Paul writes, “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive."  Paul isn't specifically talking about dating, in fact he's talking about dietary laws.  But I think the truth of this statement holds significant value to the dating discussion in middle school.  Dating in middle school may be allowed, but is it helpful?

If you say yes...

I would argue it's not beneficial, but you might argue yes.  And if you argue yes there are some important things to be aware of that might come along with dating.

• What do your parents say?  If they say no, don't do it.
• Spend time in groups while dating in middle school.  You can really get to know people this way.
• What will you do when it comes to break ups?  Do you want to deal with that yet?
• What's your motivation for dating?  Is it something other than finding a future spouse?
• There are a whole bunch of new temptations.  (You need to be thinking about your sexual purity)
• Can you maintain your normal friendships while having a boyfriend/girlfriend?

That's a lot to think about and manage.  At some point even with everything that comes along with dating, it is still worth it because the benefit is finding a spouse but is that something you want to be worrying about in middle school?

If you say no...

I think that's a smart decision; I am not saying you shouldn't like or "like like" people.  There will still be certain individuals that you have crushes on and you want to spend more time with than the others, but you are simply deciding that the most beneficial thing is to not worrying about having a boyfriend or girlfriend right now.

So what do you do?

1. Don't date. If you don't think it's beneficial, don't do it.

2. Learn to be a great friend right now. The qualities that will be important for you in being a good boyfriend or girlfriend or finding one, will probably be the same qualities that are important in having a good friendship.  Right now learn how to be a great friend to the opposite sex and that will be of significant value when you do decide to start dating.

All Access: How to Pray

 

This past Sunday, we finished our sermon series for our middle school ministry entitled All Access.  Because of the death and ressurection of Jesus we have complete and total access to our God; since we have complete access what does our prayer life look like?  The third and final message was all about "How to Pray."

We commonly recite the words that Jesus taught when his disciples asked him how to pray:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." - Matthew 6:9-13

Jesus taught the disciples this prayer; it is loaded with significance for us as we pray.  Here are a few of the observations that we spent time discussing on Sunday.

Pray with confidence. When we approach God in prayer, we approach him confidently as his children.  We have no rights to call God our father, but because of Jesus we know that we can go to God as father and we can be confident that he loves us, provides for us, and will do what's best for us.

Honor God's name with words and actions. We need to remember that not only is God our father, but he is holy.  We honor God in our prayers with our words and we also do the same with our actions when we do what is right.  When we pray we should be worshipping him and our actions when we are not in prayer should match the words we use when we do pray.

Needs > Wants. Daily bread is not about asking God to provide for our needs.  When we pray to God we should pray that he would provide for our daily needs and also thank him that he has given us our daily needs like a house, a family, food, and clothes.

Confess. Confession is an essential part of our prayer life.  We all sin, therefore, confession should be a part of our prayers.

Ask for help. No matter how motivated we are to change things and no matter how badly things get around us, we cannot simply will things to change.  We need God's help.  We pray that God will help protect us from evil, keep us from temptation, and to help do what is right.

What the Church Can Learn from Pixar

Pixar is one of the most creative companies in the world.  They consistently push the boundaries of technology, release hit movies, and tell touching stories.  I have loved Pixar movies since I first saw Toy Story and I continue to love both their movies and their approach to being a creative organization.  In the Church we may not be creating movies, but a significant portion of our work is about telling the story of Christ and life change within our midst and finding creative ways to do so.  Because of this I think we can learn a lot from Pixar's approach to fostering creativity.

Empower the creatives.

If there are people that are trying to be creative within your church organization, whether they are trying to be creative in their planning of a worship service, their student ministry, or the management of a staff, it is important that they feel empowered.  In most studios, specialized deparments generate movie ideas while another department works on making those ideas into a film.  At Pixar the job of the development department is not developng the movie, but finding people who will work well together, keeping their team healthy, and helping them solve problems.

Perhaps the best way to help our creative teams is not finding more inspiration, but helping them to work well together.  Empowering the creatives is less about teaching them to be more creative and more about helping them as a creative team.  The student ministry team is empowered not when they realize they have innovative ideas, but when they can work well together.

"If you give a good idea to a mediocre team, they'll screw it up.  But if you give a mediocre idea to a great team, they'll make it work." - Harvard Business Review on Pixar

Show Unfinished Work

At Pixar there is a group of people consisting of eight directors called the brain trust.  The idea is that the group can get together and show a work in progress and follow up with a discussion about making the movie better.  Because of the amount of trust in this group of people, they refine creative ideas without an ego preventing critical feedback and without hesitancy from the other members to not pull any punches.

When is the last time you were able to bring a raw, unfinished idea to your team and work it out?  Having a peer culture allows for good ideas to be developed into great ideas.  It allows everybody on the team to offer the insight and challenges.  What would it look like for you to present your sermon series idea before a "brain trust" of people to help you work it out?  What if you were able to write music and present it to a "brain trust" within your church?  What if you could take your student ministry retreat idea and work through it with your team and knew that doing it together would make it significantly better?

Upright Piano Turned Midi Controller

I recently saw this video on Hillsong Collected and thought it was an incredible example of creatively using technology within a classic upright piano.

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All Access

This past Sunday we started a brand new series for our Middle School students entitled "All Access."  For 3 weeks, we will be discussing prayer.  Because of the death and ressurection of Jesus we have complete access to God.  Because we have complete access to him, it is important that we use that access we have and continually be praying.  Throughout the series, I will be sharing some of my notes from the lessons (except for the first lesson, which I did not give).  If you're looking for a series on prayer and want to steal any of these ideas or graphics, feel free.

Week 1: Why Pray?

Week 2: What is Prayer?

Week 3: How to Pray?

For a copy of our additional background slide: download it here.

Sermon Series Branding Questions

[This post is a part of the Creating a Sermon Series series]

Creating a sermon series brand that both communicates and intrigues churchgoers can be a very difficult process.  An important part of the branding process is the point where you work through key details that need to be discussed in order to execute the series.  In order to help our team discuss the branding, I put together a few different questions to help work through the details.  There are certainly other important questions and discussions that may come up, but these questions help set up a framework for us to discuss some of the creative elements to our upcoming series.

1. Series Details

• What's the big idea?
• How long is the series?
• What are the topics and texts for the weekends?
• Who will be preaching?
• What dates will this take place?

2. Theming/Branding

• What should it be called?
• How should the series look and feel? (Eg: think of images, metaphors, movies, tv shows that have the "feel" we are looking for)
• What enviornments are we trying to create?
• What about pre-service music, lighting, and stage design?

3. Preaching Details

• What's a concise version of the messages?
• Are there any concepts that we could illustrate? (This is an opportunity to think of videos, props, pictures, etc.)
• How can this message beyond lived out beyond Sunday (The web, books, small groups, etc)

4. Music

• From the previous discussion, is there enough to work with for direction on weekends?
• Could any of this lead to series specific songs?
• Are there any songs that help communicate the ideas of the series?

5. The Deliverables

• What graphics need to be created and by when?
• What videos (bumpers, promotion videos) need to be created and by when?
• How are we promoting this series?  When do these elements need to be finished?

What other questions might you ask?  For a great example of how to brand a sermon series, check out Mars Hill Seattle's Battle Plan.

Top 10 Posts of 2011

In 2011 I significantly increased the frequency of my blogging; I've taken a few days off over the Christmas weekend and am excited to continue sharing my thoughts and improving my writing over the next year.  Here are my Top 10 posts of the past year. 10. How Not To Use Facebook

9. Catalyst 2011: Session 5

8. Martin Luther's View on Music

7. Mangering

6. Catalyst 2011: Session 2

5. 4 Questions To Ask Yourself When Writing a Sermon

4. A Disney World Surprise

3. Catalyst 2011 Notes

2. 4 Ways to Use Google Voice in Youth Ministry

1. How To Use Google Voice To Send Mass Text

Which was your favorite post?

The Kings of Christmas

The Christmas story is a story about a king and full of kings who have opinions about this newborn king.  We commonly sing about the Magi who visit Jesus as the "3 Kings" or "3 Wisemen."  They come to visit Jesus with a set of unusual gifts.  We also cannot forget the evil King Herod who seeks to kill the newborn baby Jesus.  There's also a third king that we less often talk about, but is mentioned and that is Caesar, who rules even over Herod.  The implications for the birth of Jesus, the newborn King, can be seen in the lives of these kings in the Christmas story.  The kings force us to ask ourselves who do we worship... who is our king?

Caesar

When Luke writes the Christmas narrative he includes a small detail that highly influences the way we read about the social climate in which Jesus was born.  In Luke 2:1 he writes, "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree..."   Jesus was born during the time of Caesar Augustus, what implications does that have for us as we worship this baby?  On an inscription of the decree of the Provinical Assembly of Asia it is written:

"The most divine Caesar...Augustus, whom being sent to us and our descendants as a Savior, has put an end to war and has set all things in order; and having become manifest, Caesar has fulfilled all the hopes of earlier times...in surpassing all the benefactors who preceded him..., and whereas, finally, the birthday of the god has been for the whole world the beginning of good news concerning him."

Jesus shows up on the scene and forces people to decide, do we worship Caesar Augustus or do we worship Jesus?  Caesar, at the time of Jesus' birth is celebrated as a Savior whose birth is the beginning of good news...sound familiar?  Jesus' birth directly opposes what is being pushed by Caesar; Jesus is forcing people to choose who do they worship.  Who, or what, do you worship this Christmas?

Herod

King Herod is the ruler of the people of Israel and under the authority of the caesars.  While Herod ruled as king, he ruled ruthlessly.  He was a king who massacred thousands of jews, while also believing that he was divinely chosen to be the king of the people.  He built altars and statues all over to worship Caesar, who claimed to be God.  In a Jewish land following God, Herod built altars and statues to worship Caesar as God.  Herod has given his life to ruthlessly ruling as king under the authority of Caesar and honoring him with all his decisions as King.  Herod had monstrous power and used it to build projects that is beyond even most modern technology all to worship Caesar.

And then a baby is born.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magifrom the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” - Matthew 2:1-2

It is not shocking that Herod responds by trying to kill baby Jesus; it is exactly how he always responded to threats of his power.  Suspicion led to the murder of his own family, ordering his wife to be killed and his sons to be murdered.  It is not surprising that a baby being born who is called "King of the Jews" is a threat.  Herod is forced to question, am I the king or is this baby the king?

Magi

The magi didn't worship Herod as king.  They didn't worship Caesar as Lord.  Instead they came to worship the baby Jesus as king and lord, and they worshipped him with three unusual gifts for a baby.

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. - Matthew 2:11

Gold.  A gift worthy of a king.  A gift that would threaten all that Herod believed in.  Frankincense, an incense.  A gift that would symbolize Jesus role as our priest.  And the most unusual gift of all for a baby, Myrrh.  A gift that was often used for embalming when people die. A gift given because Jesus was born to die.  Three gifts that all celebrate that there is something special about this baby; that he is a different kind of king than Herod and that the good news of Jesus is different than the good news of Caesar.

Three different kings.  One that claims to be Lord.  One that claims to be king.  And a group that doesn't believe that the other two statements are true, but instead go to worship a baby.  A baby that has been born and is a new King.  A King who brings about a new Kingdom for all people.  And a baby that has been born to be our Savior and to really bring the good news.

Photo Credit: Jordon

Using Spotify For Worship Planning

I've recently been spending some time with our worship planning team as we've discussed Christmas services and the upcoming calendar year.  One of the tools that I've found indespinsible when it comes to discussing music for worship services is Spotify.  I've had Spotify for several months, but it wasn't until recently that I've really found the full potential of what's possible.

Listen To Songs Without Buying Them

It's no big deal to buy a song for 99 cents, but when you are trying to discover new songs it's helpful to be able to listen to songs quickly without ever having to purchase them.  99 cents is not a lot of money, but multiply that over hundreds of songs and it adds up quickly.  Spotify lets you search their huge library and listen to the song; plus if you have their premium account you can listen to all these songs on the go.

Get Suggestions From Others

One way that I've found Spotify helpful during planning is by utilizing the subscribe feature.  What better way for people who cannot be in a meeting to have a voice into your planning then sharing a playlist?  Song discovery is crucial to planning and also can also be very difficult.  Suggestions from others is a huge assistant in the song discovery process.

Use Apps for Finding Lyrics

Spotify recently added the ability to install apps; I'm curious what the potential is for something like this is.  Initially the best feature that I've found because of the apps is their integration with TuneWiki to allow for reading the lyrics of your current song.  They don't have every song in their database yet, but I'm sure it will grow and continue to be useful.

Why I Celebrate Hanukkah

Every year as we decorate the house to celebrate the Christmas season, we make sure to get our non-Christmas decoration out on the mantle.  We put up our Christmas tree filled with ornaments, hang our stockings, put out the Christmas kitchen towels, and set the menorah up on the mantle.  I'm not Jewish.  I have never been Jewish, but I love to celebrate Hanukkah during the holiday season.  Why?  Simple, because Jesus celebrated Hanukkah.

What's Hanukkah all about?

While we all have probably heard of menorahs and playing with dreidels made out of clay, Hanukkah is a historically significant holiday in Jewish culture.  Hanukkah is an eight day festival of light, which because of the Jewish calendar varies from year to year, but always falls relatively close to Christmas.

Thousands of years ago, even before Christ, the Holy Land was ruled by people trying to forcefully take over the people of Israel. The temple was taken over and the worship of the Jewish people was disrupted and Judaism was outlawed.

"The king being thereto disposed beforehand, complied with them, and came upon the Jews with a great army, and took their city by force, and slew a great multitude of those that favored Ptolemy, and sent out his soldiers to plunder them without mercy. He also spoiled the temple, and put a stop to the constant practice of offering a daily sacrifice of expiation for three years and six months." - Josephus

A group of faithful Jews reclaimed the temple and rededicated it to God.  When they went to light the temple's menorah, they found only a small amount of olive oil, only enough for a single days supply.  Miraculously, the one-day supply burned for eight days.  To commemorate this miracle, Jews would light the candles of the menorah nightly.  Using the middle candle, the shamash, the other candles are lit and blessings are recited.

"Blessed are You, O Lord Our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded to us to kindle the lights of Hanukkah...  Blessed are You, O Lord Our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who made miracles for our forefathers in those days at this time"

What does it have to do with Christmas?

What better time to celebrate a season like Hanukkah than during the Christmas season.  Christmas is a time of great miracles.  Hanukkah celebrates the miracle of the light burning in the temple; Christmas celebrates the miracle of the light of the world being born.  Hanukkah celebrates miracles.  Christmas celebrates the greatest miracle of all; the God of the universe became flesh for us.

And in the midst of a Hanukkah celebration Jesus makes it clear who he is:

Then came the Festival of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple courts walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. The Jews who were there gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.”  Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. - John 10:22-28

Jesus claims to be the promised Messiah.  Jesus claims to be the "light of the world."  Jesus claims to be the greatest miracle of all miracles.

Preachers That I'm Listening To

If you want to be a better preacher, whether to students or adults, you need to not only be doing it yourself but also reading and listening to others who do it well.  I am constantly downloading new sermons to listen to and always looking for new ones to get into my list of podcasts.  This list is not based on the accuracy of their theology, but instead on their ability to communicate well.  There are certainly some on the list that I would reccommend to anybody to listen to and others that I would be cautious about recommending to somebody if I'm unsure of there ability to listen critically.

A Few Preachers I'm Listening To:

Matt Chandler, The Village Church - Probably one the best preachers I have ever listened to.

Matt Popovits, CrossPoint Church - Great theology.  Great preacher.

Andy Stanley, NorthPoint Church - The best when it comes to clear, simple communication.

Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church Seattle - Long sermons but does a great job at breaking books down verse by verse.

Rob Bell - Probably one of the best communicators around; I often disagree with his theology but he communicates well.

Francis Chan - I cannot listen to him preach without thinking "This guy really believes every word he is saying."  I hope people feel that way when I teach.

Steven Furtick, Elevation Church - I enjoy seeing how he approaches the topics creatively.

Photo Credit: LifeWay

A Visit to Santa II

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Where Good Ideas Come From

If you're having trouble viewing the video, watch it here.

4 Ways to Improve Preaching

Preaching is one of the most important things that happen in the life of a church.  Preachers must regularly work on their craft.  I love preaching.  It is one of my favorite parts of being in youth ministry; every week, sometimes even more often, I get to spend time preparing and giving a message to teach our middle school students.  Because I love it so much, I have found some things that seem to be helpful to me in improving my preaching.

4 Ways to Improve Preaching

Preach More. The best way to improve at anything is to get more practice.  It's true of any athlete that wants to compete at a higher level; if you want to improve at your skill you need to get reps in.  If you want to be a better preacher, whether it be on the preparation end or in the delivery, you need to find ways to preach often.

Read Scripture.  We cannot be effective in our preaching if we are not studying the scripture.  You might have enough Bible knowledge to get by without spending time personally in the word, but falling into this trap is a huge danger.  Spend time in the scripture, not simply for the sake of finding things to preach on but for the sake of your own relationship with God.

Listen More.  If you love to preach and want to get better, listen to great preachers.  I regularly have a list of sermons that are downloading every week.  Find a variety of styles and denominations; there is a lot to learn by finding different preachers that are effective in communicating.

Read Books.  When you find a book or writer that you love, read all their books and the books that they reference.  Reading books will allow you to continually be learning and building your library of potential ideas.  It will also help you grow in your knowledge of what you are reading about.  The key here though is that you need to find a way to not only read books, but remember what was in them.  For me that means underlining and recording things in evernote.

Photo Credit: GWoods