The Day I Became a Grunewald

In third grade I wrote a paper entitled, “Officially a Grunewald.”  And in the way that only a third grader could write, it recorded the events of a very important day in my life:

Last year on October 17, 1995, I missed a half day of school because I went to court.  When we were at home, my mom gave me a chain with a cross on it.  My brother, Corey, got a chain with a cross in the middle of a heart, and my sister, Molly, got a necklace that had a G in the middle of the heart because we became Grunewalds.

The judge asked my mom and dad a lot of questions.  While we were getting our picture taken, I banged the hammer the judge uses.  I got my picture taken with Corey, Molly and the judge.  Second, we got a picture taken with my mom, my dad, Corey, Molly, the judge and I.  The judge got to hold Molly every single time.

I officially became a Grunewald.  When we left we ate at the Clock. I had scrambled eggs.  Corey had Mickey Mouse pancakes, and Molly had French toast.

My mom brought me back to school after everyone finished eating.  Everyone asked me where I was.  I said, "At court." The kids in my class asked, "Do you have to go to jail?"  I was proud the day my stepdad adopted me and I officially became a Grunewald.

On October 17, 1995, in a courthouse, not because of anything I had done and not because of anything my brother or sister had done, but solely because of the love of my dad, I was declared a Grunewald.  It had nothing to do with my decisions or behavior, but simply because my dad said before the judge, “I will love these children as my very own children,” everything changed.

It would not be about stepson or stepdaughter, stepbrother or stepsister.  It was instead, “These are my kids.  This is my family.”  And so, on October 17, 1995, I was given a new name and a new identity; this was my family.  My dad said, “I love you, and you are my child.”

I was adopted and called son.

And all throughout the Scriptures this is the very same way that our relationship with our Heavenly Father is described.  We are described as sons and daughters who have been adopted into the family.  We are a family who has been made family.

And just as a judge banged a hammer and declared, “This is who you are,” so also on the cross of Christ it was declared, “This is who you are.”  You are given a new name, a new identity.  You are called a child, a son, a daughter.  This is why throughout the Scriptures we see this adoption language coming up over and over again.

In 2 Corinthians it says, “‘I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me,’ says the Lord Almighty.”  How does this happen?  Because we have been adopted as sons and daughters.

In Galatians 4, when the Apostle Paul is teaching us what it means to be children of God, he says:

“But, when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons, that we might be adopted as sons.  Because you are sons, because you are daughters, because you’ve been adopted into the family, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts in the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’  So, you are no longer a slave, but a son, and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”

And in Ephesians 1 (NLT) it says, "God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.  This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."  By the death and resurrection of Jesus, you and I have been declared children of God.

On October 17, 1995, I was given a new identity.  You and I, almost 2,000 years ago on a cross, we were made new.  In the waters of our baptism we were given a new name.  We were called family as we have heard and trusted the promise of the Gospel.  We have been adopted into the family of God.  We are a family who has been made family.  No matter how far we’ve run, we’ve been called sons and daughters.

The Vocations in a Family

Everybody has a vocation.  Vocation is a really just a fancy way of saying a “calling.”  Our vocations are the way that God works in the world serving the world through us as we fulfill our vocations.  And we all have these callings.  God serves our schools as teachers teach, principals lead, and as students obey.  God serves in our families as husbands love their wives, as wives love their husbands, and so on.  Our callings extend into our workplaces, our neighborhoods, our churches, and into our homes.

One of the fascinating things about family, however, is that it is the first place that we all experience calling.  Because we are all born into the vocation of a son or daughter.  Families are full of different callings - each of which have different unique characteristics, responsibilities, and value.

Note: This list is really simplified and meant to scratch the surface. We could spend a lot of time on each of these individual vocations, so if you feel like one doesn’t say all that it should… it probably doesn’t. 

Husband.

The husband is the leader of the home. Ephesians calls the husband to love his wife the way that Christ loved the Church.  This is a high calling, to be the sacrificial, loving leader of the home.  Service and sacrificing for the benefit of the one he loves.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” - Ephesians 5:25

Wife.

The wife has been called to her husband and to love her husband as the Church loves Christ.  The calling of a wife is a distinct calling from her husband, yet equally sacred and important.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” - Ephesians 5:21-22

A wife is called to submit to her husband.

Now this word can cause a lot of trouble, but it doesn’t need to.  Because this is about mutual submission. She is not called to submit to him for the sake of him “lording it over her” but to submit to and serve her husband as he has also done for her.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” - Proverbs 31:10-12

Father.

A man, if he has kids, not only has the responsibility to lead his wife but to also lead his kids.  The father provides for his family, protects his family, and also pastors his family.  The calling of fatherhood is a call to disciple your children - to make sure they know they are loved by God and by their parents.

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." - Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV

Mother.

Moms have one of the most difficult callings there is.  It’s one of the most important, yet it is also one of the most under-appreciated and exhausting callings there is.  The most important work that any mom does is the work she does as a mother; and it is an exhausting, unpaid, holy calling to love, care for, and disciple her children.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed.” - Proverbs 31:26

Son/Daughter.

The first vocation that we all have in life is the same.  It’s the vocation of being a son or a daughter.  This might be unusual, especially because we primarily begin to think of callings as what happens when we become adults.  But this isn’t true, callings extend into childhood as - son/daughter, brother/sister, student, and friend.

"My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” - Proverbs 6:20 ESV

We could also add to this list things like brother and sister, grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.  All of these are unique relationships that God has placed you in.  And since God has placed you in those relationships, this also means that he has called you to love him and love others in those relationships that he has called you to.

What are some of the other unique callings within a family that you could describe? 

How Not to Say Something Stupid

“Doesn’t she look great?”

Every now and then I hear something like this at a funeral and I can’t help but think to myself, “Umm…not really, she’s dead.”  And then immediately I scold myself for being so mean in my head and remind myself that the person was well-meaning.

Whenever somebody I care about is in a season of suffering, I find myself worried about what I am going to say.  I find myself second-guessing every statement in order to avoid saying something stupid in this moment of pain.  When I go into these situations, there are a couple of things that I need to constantly remind myself of, so I don’t overthink how I care for my friends and family in these moments.

Your presence matters.

You’re not going to say something stupid.  And if you do, they most likely won’t remember it.  Because your presence is going to say far more.  This doesn’t mean that words don’t matter in these moments, but don’t underestimate the significance of simply being present and sitting with the people who are suffering.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. - John 11:33-35

Listen, cry, talk about anything, look at pictures, pray.

All of these things matter.

Stick to what you know, not what you don’t.

In the need to say something in these difficult moments, the place we often find ourselves getting into trouble is when we start to find things to say that we perceive as comforting that we really don’t have answers to.

When you go to a funeral and somebody is comforting another because their loved is "getting their wings"; this is somebody who is trying to be comforting but is speaking about things they really don’t know about.

When I am in these moments, the thing I must always remind myself is that when I need words of comfort, the best place I can run to is the place that I know speaks truth to the hurting.  Instead of coming up with comforting statements in my own mind, I can find things that have already been said in the scriptures.

For example, a book like the Psalms can speak to the greatest moments of joy and the most agonizing moments of suffering.

"Psalms give voice to the praise of God in the depths of affliction and in the heights of human joy. We have confidence in praying the psalms for in the Psalter we are praying God’s own words.” - Lutheran Service Book: Pastoral Care Companion

When we use the words of God, we know they are true.  Rely on what you know is true.  Rely on the prayers, songs, and words of the Scriptures to provide comfort when you don’t have the words to say.

Prodigals, Pharisees, and Sons

Most of us don’t need to be convinced that we should pray.  Even the people who don’t believe in God, when faced with the worst of situations, often finds themselves in prayer to a god they don’t believe in.  The way we approach God matters  There are postures that we can take when we approach God that are appropriate in our relationship with Him.  And there are other postures that seek to make God more like a divine Genie or pair of designer jeans than a loving father.

When you pray, do you pray as a prodigal, a pharisee, or do you pray as a son or daughter? 

Prodigals.

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. - Luke 15:11-13

The prodigal son wants the benefits of sonship without any of the relationship.  He wants to receive the inheritance, but he doesn’t want to be family.  This is the story of being a prodigal.  As prodigals, we look to do whatever it takes to get what we want, but we ultimately have no desire for any sort of relationship with our heavenly Father.  We might want the reward, but we don’t want to live out our faith.  We might want the benefits, but we don’t want any of the responsibility that comes with it.

When we pray like prodigals, we only pray when we want something.  We might pray as though there is some being up there that occasionally grants our wishes, but we don’t pray to a Father.  And we certainly don’t pray as though we have any kind of relationship with this God.

Pharisees.

When the Pharisees pray, they want to be seen.  They want people to know how holy they are.  They are in essence standing on the street corners shouting, “Everybody come see how good I look.”   The Pharisee follows the rules, but not because of their relationship with the father, but because of who might be watching them.

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  - Matthew 6:5

The pharisee prays to be seen and believes all their blessings are rightfully theirs.

When we pray like pharisees we falsely believe that we have done something to earn our blessings.  We pray, “Thank you God that I’m not like those sinners.”  Or even, “Thank you God that I’m not like those Christians.”  We find ourselves concerned and asking, “God I’ve done A, B, and C, why haven’t you blessed me yet?”

A Third Way

Instead, we should find ourselves responding like the prodigal son ends up responding.  The son has a speech all planned out:

Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants. - Luke 15:18-19

He isn’t disowning his father this time.  Instead he realizes he screwed it up.  Unlike previously, this time he wants to come home, but knows he shouldn’t step foot in that house again.  Unlike the pharisee, he shows up knowing fully what he deserves.  His speech to his father is the equivalent to, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”

Instead of praying without a relationship and a false view of ourselves, we pray with the words that Jesus taught us, “Our Father.”

We pray not as prodigals or pharisees, but as sons and daughters.  Sons and daughters who have been adopted into the family the work of the Son.

Sermon Series Ideas: 001

If you are in ministry and you teach regularly, chances are you are also consistently looking for sermon inspiration or freebies. As a ministry, we are regularly producing great content for our sermon series.  The creative process to developing these is one of the areas that I am most passionate.  I love working with our team as we brainstorm ideas and then helping move ideas forward into a finished product.

Feel free to use these ideas to inspire your own ideas.  The only thing we ask is that you don’t sell our original content as your own.  Also please note, that occasionally some of our series images heavily rely on stock images; in those cases I will let you know since you must purchase the original source image in order to have legal permission to use the image. 

First Things First

Series Description: At the beginning of the year most of us make resolutions to prioritize our life. That’s not easy to do. We try to place first things first, yet there are so many things that take up our time and energy. Everything we have is a result of God first giving it to us. Our job is to use those gifts that he has given and respond by placing first things first.

Note: In order to have permission to use this graphic for your sermon series, you must download the appropriate vector images from a variety of stock imagery websites.

Click Here

Note: This “click here” imagery was the inspiration of one of our Pastors, Paul Arndt. 

Series Description: After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to two of his disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35). They didn’t recognize him nor did they understand the purpose of his ministry. As Jesus walked with them, he opened up the Old Testament and began to link all of the Scriptures to himself.

If Jesus were to have the same conversation in our digital age, it might look like a hyperlink or one of those notations on the web page that says, “click here”. He would hover over a portion of the Scripture and link it to his person and work, his death and his resurrection, the message of the forgiveness of sins.

Download full size title image. 

Download background slide image. 

Download editable .psd file. 

Pray Like Jesus

Series Description: Throughout the Gospels we can read about Jesus' prayers. There are specific prayers that He taught His followers to pray and there are others that He prayed on our behalf. What can we learn from Jesus' prayer life, and His teachings, that we can apply to our prayer life? How does Jesus respond when confronted with temptation or trial? Can His response be our response?

Note: In order to have permission to use this graphic for your sermon series, you must download the appropriate size image from Lightstock.  Get this image here.  If you purchased the graphic assets and want the full size image with the text, just let me know and I’ll get it to you. 

Credit: Our designers who do all this amazing work are Mari, Sheila, and Corey. 

The Heart of Young and Seasoned Church Workers

If there's one thing that is true for all people called to church work, it's that they have passion not only for God, but for their church.  If you get a group of young church workers talking, chances are you'll hear them talk about what they love about their church and what they hope to change.  As a young church worker, these are some insights that I’d suggest would be helpful for both young and seasoned church workers to know about each other in order to be a healthy team.

[gss-content-box color="gray”]This post is a guest post written by my brother Corey Grunewald. Corey does Graphic Design & Video Editing at Faith Lutheran Church and can be found on the Twitters.[/gss-content-box]

Seasoned Church Workers

Don't be discouraged that those you're in leadership over want to change or shake things up.  They don't believe what your church is doing is all bad, otherwise they wouldn't be there.  The truth is, they want the same thing you want: to lead the congregation to a deeper relationship with Jesus.  They understand that they are trying to change things that you worked a long time to achieve.  They don't want to simply forget the history of their church, but they do want to continue creating history.  They respect what you have done and simply want to continue that process.

They stand on your shoulders as they begin to lead; don’t knock them down.

Young Church Workers

Your leadership was once where you are.  They weren't always the boss and they faced a lot of flack when they were trying to move the church forward.  If you experience a lack of freedom in pushing your church forward, you may be experiencing the protective nature of a leader.  Because they've experienced so much, they want to protect you from the negative things they've encountered. They know the pain of negative feedback and want to help you avoid it.

If there's one thing to remember in changing things in your church it's this: when you try to move your church forward, you're not just asking for a buy in from leadership, but for leadership to take the fall if things don't work out.

If you’re a veteran church worker, what do you wish you could’ve told a younger version of you?  If you’re a young church worker, what would you like to tell a future version of you to make sure to remember?

Leave it to Beaver vs. Modern Family

The world we live in is rapidly changing.  The world my parents grew up with is not the same as the world I have grown up with.  And it scares me to imagine the world that my kids will grow up with.

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Leave it to Beaver debuted in 1957, showcasing a young boy and his adventures around the neighborhood.  The television show highlighted the life of the Cleaver family and typically showed Beaver getting into trouble and then facing his parents for reprimand and correction.  What’s fascinating about the show to me is looking at it now 57 years later.  What is shown on TV is simply nothing like what was on at that time.

Did you know the first episode of Leave it to Beaver almost didn’t air?  It was too controversial.

Why?

Wall and Beaver in this episode purchased an alligator for $2.50 and needed to then decide to hide it so as not to be caught with a living alligator in the house.  Then comes the conflict...

"We were going to put it in the toilet because we knew alligators needed water," Mathers said. "At that time, you not only couldn't show a toilet, you couldn't show a bathroom on television. It was prohibited.” - FoxNews Entertainment

And what about the sleeping arrangements?

June and Ward have two twin beds in their bedroom.  In 1957, it was far too controversial to suggest that a married couple shared a bed together.

Fast forward to 2014...

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Things have changed a bit.  And this isn’t to suggest that our world is going to hell because of shows like Modern Family.  And certainly not to say that Modern Family is of the devil… I love Modern Family.  But I just want to highlight, what is socially acceptable in our culture.

This can be scary depending on the world you grew up in.

But regardless it is important.  Because the world we are trying to reach is a world that is growing up with Modern Family, Family Guy, and the Walking Dead.  The commonly held values are changing, the way people talk are changing, and the way people understand right and wrong are changing.

But not everything is changing.

While culture changes, people really don’t.

The most basic needs that people haven’t are really any different.  People still are born with the same problem.  People are still all curved inward upon themselves and seek their own wants and desires.  People still don’t naturally have the desire to choose the things of God.  And people still seek to find hope, joy, and satisfaction in all kinds of things that are not God.

The difference in today’s culture?

People are okay talking about these things and sometimes even celebrating them.

But sin, that’s always been around.  The sins that are being celebrated, these have always been around.  There’s nothing new.  People have the same problems and the same sins; culture is just revealing those problems in a new way.

And if people don’t really change, what people need is also the same.  The message of our culture is the same message that was given for all cultures throughout history.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God - Galatians 4:4-7

For All & For You: An Overview of Objective & Subjective Justification

For All.  For you.

There are two senses in which we can talk about the work of Christ.  First, what Jesus did on the cross he did for all people.  Second, Jesus’ work has saved you by grace through faith.  Both of these are important when we discuss the love of Christ because it reminds us that the love of Jesus is both universal and personal.  The fancy, theological language that describes this is called objective and subjective justification.

For All.

Who did Jesus die for?

When Jesus died on the cross, he did not only die for believers.  He suffered and died for the sins of all people.  When John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world,”  the word “world" includes everybody.  When we talk about the work of Christ, in the widest sense we always refer to that which Christ did for all people.

It’s what Luke records when he writes, “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” (Luke 2:10)

And the Apostle Paul,

"For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.” - 2 Corinthians 5:14

All people.

In widest sense, we could say that the work of Christ is universal.  In more technical terms, this is sometimes referred to as objective justification.  The atoning work of Christ is for all people.  Jesus didn’t just die for some people, he died for all sinners.  And this truth is objective; it’s not dependent on the person that Jesus died for.

For You.

But while this work is for all people, not all people are saved?

This is why it is important that we understand the work of Christ in both the wide and narrow sense.

Why aren’t all people saved if the work of Christ was for all people?

Ephesians 2:8 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith.”  Grace which was for all people is received personally through faith.  All people aren’t saved because not all people have faith.  In the narrowest sense, we can say what Christ did for all people he did for you.

This is what faith trusts.  Faith trusts that what Jesus did on the cross for all people, he did for you.  Faith makes the objective truth of the Gospel personal.  In more technical language, we like to call this subjective justification.  We receive the benefits of God’s gift personally through faith.  And it is only through faith that we receive the benefits of what Christ did for all people.

Abraham Lincoln, the Emancipation Proclamation, and the Gospel

On January 1, 1863, Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation.  In the proclamation it was stated:

“All persons held as slaves are, and henceforward shall be free."

In that moment, slaves all over the United States are free.  Men, women, and children leaving plantations for the first time as free families.  As the good news is declared to the country, slaves become free and leave their chains behind.

But imagine for a second, another slave.  This slave hears the good news and thinks, “It’s too good to be true; I can’t trust it.”

And then he continues to work on the plantation as a slave.

Does his failure to believe the message negate the general freedom that has been declared for all slaves?  Of course not! But his failure to believe does make this message of freedom ineffective for him personally.

*note: this illustration came from a classic book on Christian Doctrine

The Gospel, which has won freedom for all people, declares us free. It is by faith in that freedom that has been won universally that applies it personally.  Faith, which comes from the Spirit and trusts in the work of the Son, makes the universal love of the Father personal.

Failure to see the universal love of God falsely believes that Jesus only died for the elect.  It believes that God loves some but not others.  And failure to see personal justification falsely believes that all are saved regardless of their faith and/or by their own works.  It emasculates the Gospel as it eliminates the need for Christ in believing that grace works apart from faith.

It’s for all.  And it’s for you.

It’s universal.  But it’s also personal.

Dating Doesn't End with "I Do"

Dating doesn’t end with “I do.”

In a marriage, there are many things that are competing for your attention.  Bills, kids, projects, deadlines, school, laundry, dinner, groceries, birthday parties, or even the in-laws.  While these things are necessary and important parts of a marriage, a marriage needs much more than paid bills and kids to thrive.  The goal of our marriage isn’t just to stay married, it’s to have a marriage that is filled with joy.

And a joy-filled marriage comes in the pursuit of one another and in knowing that God is in pursuit of us.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (ESV) - Ephesians 5:23-27

Notice what happens here. Christ pursues the Church.  Christ sacrifices.  Christ gives of himself.  Christ loves.  And this verse from Ephesians calls men to the same thing - love your wives, sacrifice for your wives, pursue your wives.

Christ calls men to do for their wives what has been done for them.  And it might even be suggested that by God’s pursuit of you, he has freed you to not focus on scoring spiritual points with God but instead focus on the hard work of fulfilling your calling as you love and pursue your spouse.

Dating is an opportunity for pursuit that shouldn’t disappear after the wedding vows.  It will certainly look different, but it shouldn't end.  Because even after the vows are spoken, the relationship doesn’t stop growing.

And when there are so many different areas of our life that are seeking our time and attention, the question becomes, “Which area of your life will become the priority?"

“Daily you make decisions to give up one thing in order to gain something else. This is especially true within the arena of your schedule. You face a variety of responsibilities and opportunities: work … family … hobbies … clubs … leagues … the list is endless. Each competes for your attention. Each competes for your most valuable resource, your time. But to give each of these the time it demands or deserves would require more time than you have.” - Andy Stanley

Maybe it’s time to start dating again.

As life happens in marriage, dating is easy to get bumped down the list.  Our kids take priority.  Our bills have to get paid.  The jobs need to get done on time.  And while it is easy to bump dating off the list, it is probably the last thing that should be moved down the list.  Because even when we struggle to pay the bills, a healthy marriage gets us through those difficult days.  And even if our career is miserable, a happy marriage makes it do-able.  And while our kids are certainly a priority, the best gift we can ever give to our kids is a healthy marriage and a healthy home to grow up in.

Everyday you are going to have to make decisions about what to give up and what to pursue.  Choose your family.  Choose your spouse.

Note: This title and concept comes from a Date Night event that Eric and our church put on for couples that my wife and I got the chance to participate in.

Creating a Family Culture within the Church

Families can be a bit odd.  They all come in different shapes and sizes and usually have their own inside jokes and memories that have been created over the years.  There is something significant about the relationships in a family.  While friendships may come and go, family often remains.  The relational connection between family members is an important, beautiful, and significant relationships.

As Christians, the same language of family is woven into the way the Bible describes the local church.

Church is family.  And this means that as a family, we might be a bit odd.  We might have our weird traditions or even family members who creep you out a little bit.  But nonetheless, we are family.  We are a family who is there for each other, supporting each other, and encouraging each other as we grow.

Family feels welcome.

When I show up at a family party, I always feel welcome.  Family is excited to see me, my wife, and my kids. We are greeted as we walk in and we immediately have plenty to talk about.  There is no question about how I should act, where I should go, or what is appropriate - it’s family.

Family is welcoming.

Church should feel this way.  Do you feel welcome on a Sunday morning?  Better yet, if you invited your unchurched co-worker, how would they feel?

And it’s okay if they don’t feel like a close family immediately.  It takes in-laws time to adjust to a new family.  The same is true when somebody shows up at our churches; they might take a while to grow close.  But they will never grow close if they never feel welcome in the first place.

Princess Anna said it best when she suggested, “Love is an open door.”

Our churches need to have an open door, welcoming the people of our neighborhoods, communities, and schools and welcoming them to come and join the family.

Family sticks together.

In Lilo and Stitch the phrase gets spoken, "Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind.”  Calling a group of people family means more than close friends.  Family is a group of people that does life together and is involved in all of the mess of life.

More than any other group of people, I know I can be me when I’m with my family.

Because my family knows the real me. They know the things that make me weird.  They know what gets on my nerves. They know what makes me emotional. They know the stories about what I was like when I grew up. They saw me at my worst. And they’ve been with me at my best.

Family gets involved in all the good and the bad and is present.

And family is safe regardless of how good the good is and how bad the bad is.

As churches, our desire should be for people to feel the belonging of family.  In our congregations, people need to feel the safety to be themselves.  People need to feel safe to reveal the mess of their lives and let other people in on it. When that happens, people will have the opportunity to stick with people and have the kind of relationships that are important in a church family.

Family is family.

In order for a church to be family, people also have to be made family.  This is important because central to what we do as Christians in our churches is to share with people the message of the Gospel.  We share a message with those who are far from God in hopes that they might be adopted into the family of God.

Feeling like family is not enough for us.  We want them to actually be family.

And in order for them to be family, they need to believe the message that they’ve been made family.

And we can help with that.  We can help them belong to a family as they hear and hopefully in turn believe the message.  We can help them know clearly what our family is all about.  When a guest comes into our house, we help them not get lost in our traditions, values, and beliefs, but instead translate them so they can follow along and feel like they are a part of the family.

And we do this so that they might believe the Good News. Because we don’t want people to just feel like family.  We don’t want people to just stick together.  We don’t want people to just feel welcome.  We want them to actually be made brothers and sisters in Christ.

God Wears a Mask

In the daily living of life, sometimes it is difficult to see God at work.  We go about our morning routine, drive into work, go about our business, have dinner with the family, and put the kids to bed.  And sometimes in the ordinary living, God’s work seems absent.

But the problem is not whether or not God is actually present.  The problem is our failure to realize it.

Like Jacob once we notice God’s activity, we will respond, “Surely the Lord was in this place and I was not aware of it.”

When Jesus taught the disciples to pray, he taught them several petitions that many of us pray to this very day.  We’ll pray things like “Give us this day our daily bread” or “Deliver us from evil.”  And God answers those prayers for us daily.  But the way he does that is by doing his work while hidden in the work of ordinary people doing their ordinary jobs.  God gives daily bread, and he does it through farmers and grocers and pizza makers.  God protects us from evil through police officers and other public services.

We regularly pray for God’s healing, but often fail to notice that God is at work quietly healing when he is hidden in the work of doctors and surgeons and pharmacists.

Martin Luther described this way of working as the “mask of God.”

All our work in the field, in the garden, in the city, in the home, in struggle, in government-to what does it all amount before God except child's play, by means of which God is pleased to give his gifts in the field, at home, and everywhere? These are the masks of our Lord God, behind which he wants to be hidden and to do all things. - Martin Luther

Like an actor in a play, the actual person doing the work is hidden behind the mask at all times.  The actor is doing the work, but what the audience sees and experiences is the character playing their role.  To think of God as wearing a mask simply means that God is hidden in the work he does in the world.  And the mask that he wears when doing his work is His people.  God wears the mask of the police officer when protecting, the artist when entertaining, the parent when changing diapers, the blue jean designer when sewing a pair of jeans, and the barista when providing the morning shot of expresso.

Our work is a place where God does his work.  As we serve and love our neighbors, God is hidden doing his work and loving the people around us.

18 Quotes on Vocation

The doctrine of vocation is one of my favorite doctrines and one that I would suggest is often overlooked when it comes to significant theological concepts.  While justification was certainly the central rallying point of the reformation, the doctrine of vocation was one that came with it.  While justification referred to the vertical relationship between man and God, vocation referred to man’s relationship with the world around him.

Because I love the doctrine of vocation, I am often reading and writing about it and have over time acquired a list of quotes that I think are significant to consider when talking about God’s calling.

18 Quotes on Vocation

1. “The maid who sweeps here kitchen is doing the will of God just as much as the monk who prays – not because she may sing a Christian hymn as she sweeps but because God loves clean floors.  The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship.” - attributed to Martin Luther

2. "To pour beer for the glory of God is pretty simple: offer a smile and be friendly to whoever saunters up to the bar, give suggestions for a good draught, and when you pour tilt the glass at 45°, make sure the beer isn’t pouring too deep in the glass, bring the pint upright for the final pour and make sure the head isn’t more than an inch-deep. If you overflow, wipe the sides down and flash a smile as you slide the drink across to the customer. Say, “Cheers.” Take a swig of your own brew. Repeat." - Ken Chitwood

3.“The church’s approach to intelligent carpenter is usually confined to exhorting him not to be drunk and disorderly in his leisure hours and to come to church on Sundays.  What the church should be telling him is this:  That the very first demand that his religion makes upon him is that he should make good tables.” - Dorothy L Sayers

4. "What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels…God with all his angels and creatures is smiling - not because the father (or mother) is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith.” - Martin Luther

5. “A woman told me about getting involved in a Bible study that demanded strict commitment to the study of God’s Word.  ‘You should make the Bible your number one priority,’ she was told.  That meant getting up early and the very first thing in the morning doing Bible reading and having a quiet time with the Lord.  She did this, but to her consternation every morning as she would start to read her Bible, the baby would wake up.  She found herself resenting the interruption.  Here she was, trying to spend time with God, and the baby would start fussing, demanding to be fed and distracting her attention away from spiritual things.  After a while, though, she came to understand the doctrine of vocation.  Taking care of her baby was what God, at that moment, was calling her to do.  Being a mother and loving and serving her child was her vocation, her divine calling from the Lord.  She could read the Bible later.  She did not have to feel guilty that she was neglecting spiritual things; taking care of her baby is a spiritual thing!” - Gene Veith, God at Work

6. “God doesn’t need our good works, but our neighbor does.” - Gustaf Wingren

7. “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” — Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC

8. “Everyone will be forgotten, nothing we do will make any difference, and all good endeavours, even the best, will come to naught.  Unless there is God. If the God of the Bible exists, and there is a True Reality beneath and behind this one, and this life is not the only life, then every good endeavour, even the simplest ones, pursued in response to God's calling, can matter forever.”  - Tim Keller, Every Good Endeavor

9. "When we reduce the notion of “calling” to work inside the church, we fail to equip our people to apply their Christian faith to everything they do, everywhere they are." -Tullian Tchividjian

10. "If you find yourself in a work by which you accomplish something good for God, or the holy, or yourself, but not for your neighbor alone, then you should know that that work is not a good work. For each one ought to live, speak, act, hear, suffer, and die in love and service for another, even for one's enemies, a husband for his wife and children, a wife for her husband, children for their parents, servants for their masters, masters for their servants, rulers for their subjects and subjects for their rulers, so that one's hand, mouth, eye, foot, heart and desire is for others; these are Christian works, good in nature." - Martin Luther, Adventspostille 1522

11. "God himself will milk the cows through him whose vocation that is." - Martin Luther

12. "When I go into a restaurant, the waitress who brings me my meal, the cook in the back who prepared it, the delivery men, the wholesalers, the workers in the food-processing factories, the butchers, the farmers, the ranchers, and everyone else in the economic food chain are all being used by God to “give me this day my daily bread.”" - Gene Veith

13. "All our work in the field, in the garden, in the city, in the home, in struggle, in government-to what does it all amount before God except child's play, by means of which God is pleased to give his gifts in the field, at home, and everywhere? These are the masks of our Lord God, behind which he wants to be hidden and to do all things." - Martin Luther

14. "In the long term I think being a preacher, missionary, or leading a Bible study group in many ways is easier. There is a certain spiritual glamour in doing it, and what we should be doing each day is easier to discern more black and white, not so gray. It is often hard to get Christians to see that God is willing not just to use men and women in ministry, but in law, in medicine, in business, in the arts. This is the great shortfall today.” - Dick Lucas

15. "You have worth apart from your work and that frees you to work for all that it is worth." - Matt Popovits

16. "Work is not primarily a thing one does to live but the thing one lives to do. It is, or it should be, the full expression of the worker’s faculties, the thing in which he finds spiritual, mental and bodily satisfaction, and the medium in which he offers himself to God."—Dorothy Sayers

17. "The book of Genesis  leaves us with a striking truth-work was part of paradise." - Tim Keller, Every Good Endeavor

18. "God is busy about his work in the midst of your work whether you realize it or not.  The laundry, the spreadsheets, the phone calls, and the cups of coffee are all deeply spiritual because God is at work in the world. He is serving your family, your coworkers, and your community through the work you do.  God is at work providing “daily bread” through the work that you do, no matter what that work is.” - my guest post at Liberate.org

Do you have any other favorites on the topic of vocation?  What are they?

Addiction: Leaving The Vomit Behind

Have you ever wondered what causes a dog to return to its own vomit?  It’s quite disturbing.  What in the world would make any creature return to the very thing that moments early made them sick to their stomach. In Proverbs 26:11 it says, “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to his folly.”

As humans, we often act just like the dogs, returning to the very things that make us sick.  And this isn’t just reserved for a few of us who deal with addiction.  We all deal with addiction.  If we are honest, we will all find sins that we habitually return to that over time seem to own us.

Today, I’m excited to announce the launch of a new eBook.  I’ve spent the past couple months editing, designing, and putting together: Addiction: Leave Your Vomit Behind so I could give it away on the blog for free.  This is the second eBook I’ve made, the first one has nearly hit the 1,000 download mark!

Update: This eBook is no longer available for free but can be found on Amazon for the low price of $2.99. 

Here’s what some readers have been saying about the book so far:

"Love this book on a topic that we don't know enough about in the Church today. The subject matter connects through Scripture and effectiveness. This would be a great help to any ministry."-Paul Spurlin, AdventuresInMinistry.com

"This concise, powerful book pounds home the fact that addicts of all kinds are imprisoned as slaves with our only hope being a Divine Rescuer. An incredible, practical treatise on how true freedom can be found!" - Nobel Macaden

"This book is a powerful example for the follower of Christ, that addiction does not have the last word. There is freedom and hope to be had at the foot of the Cross. Where there was addiction, guilt, and shame, there is now worship of God, love, and forgiveness. This is a must-read for every single follower of Christ." - Ben Marshall, Director of Youth and College at Calvary Baptist Church, Holland, MI

How to get your copy

Addiction: Leave Your Vomit Behind is available on Kindle version of the book available if you prefer that format for only $2.99.

Thinking Theologically Requires Comfort Socially

Everybody is a theologian, but not everybody is a good one.  And not everybody is interested in having conversations about their theology… especially if it is different than yours.  The problem with this reality is that as Christians we’ve been given a mission to make disciples of all nations and this means engaging people who are far form God with the message of the Gospel.  In order to see those who are far from God become the family of God, they somehow need to hear the Gospel.  And them hearing the Gospel often requires us having earned the right to be heard.

The Gospel can and does work apart from being shared in the midst of relationships.  But most often the Gospel does it works in the context of relationships.  Relationships with family members, coworkers, or neighbors.  The Gospel is most often heard the clearest when it is spoken by someone who cares about the individual, not somebody dropping off a tract as he passes by.

The reason this is true has nothing to do with the theological accuracy of the tract.  The tract may actually clearly present the Gospel.  The problem with the tract is there is no relationship.  There is no conversation.  There is no listening.  There is no engaging in hearing the story of lost person.  And there is no actual love for one another.

In order for people to think theologically, they need to be comfortable socially.

This is true for those who are far from God.  This is even true for those who regularly engage in these type of conversations.  Think about your own life; who do you have the best theological conversations with?  I imagine it is somebody you trust and are willing to have the difficult conversations and ask the hard questions.

In your ministry, are you helping people be comfortable?

I don’t mean be comfortable with the scandalous message of the Gospel.  I don’t mean be comfortable being confronted with their own sin.  I mean comfortable with you.  The cross is often a stumbling block and considered foolish, and I don’t suggest we change that.  But that doesn’t mean you should be the stumbling block.

How do you make somebody comfortable socially:

1. Listen to them. When we have a desire to share the Gospel, we most often immediately think of what we need to say.  And it’s true, we need to say something.  But do not miss the importance of earning the right to be heard.  As we listen to our neighbors, we might actually hear their hurts and pains.

2. Actually care about them.  This isn’t about increasing attendance.  It’s not about improving our bottom line.  It’s about getting to know people.  To hear their hurts and know their families.  To actually love them with no strange attached.

3. Speak their language. It’s amazing how uncomfortable I can get when somebody is talking around me and I have no idea what they are talking about.  If we want people to be comfortable enough in engaging in the conversation, we have to speak a language that they can speak.  This means that some words will need to get explained and translated.

Earning the Right to Be Heard

“Preach the Gospel; use words if necessary.”  - attributed to St. Francis of Assissi

This well-intentioned phrase gets used all the time. And it’s not exactly accurate.  Because how else do you preach the Gospel?  Words are always necessary.  You can speak the words.  You can write the words.  You can sign the words.  You can film the words. But words are always necessary in the preaching of the Gospel.

But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!” - Romans 10:14-15

You have an incredible calling as a Christian - to bring the good news to all people.  Bring the Good News to your homes, your neighborhoods, your communities, your schools, and your workplaces.  As a Christian it is your job to bring the Gospel to those who need to hear the message of the Gospel. Your job is to be a missionary translating the Gospel into the language of the people in your worlds.

But what do you do when no one’s listening? 

Preach the Gospel.  Use words.  But you don’t want to be that lone guy on a  street corner shouting and hoping people “turn or burn.”  You don’t want to be a jerk that is seen as another “one of those Christians” who are hateful and don’t care about me.

We assume that if we can just get the idea across, then it will be up to the person to respond, whether we do it correctly or not. Maybe we also think that in order to get God’s approving glance, it’s our duty to share “truth,” even if our modus operandi is “Obnoxious for Jesus . . . and loving it.” - Hugh Halter, the Tangible Kingdom

We are called to preach the Gospel, and this always requires words.  But in order to preach the Gospel, we also have to earn the right to be heard.

How do we earn the right to be heard?

Earning the right to be heard might seem complicated, but it’s really not complicated.  Jesus sums up the entire Law in the commands to “Love God” and “Love others.”  In loving others, we are earning the right to be heard.  As we love our neighbors - whether that be in our own homes, our schools, or our neighborhoods - we are making relational connections that provide opportunities to share the Gospel.

Can the Gospel be shared and effective apart from relationship?  Absolutely!  But this isn’t the primary way we should be operating if we are trying to live as missionaries in our cities.  Missionaries get to know their city by being present in the city and loving those in the city, not by flying in and dropping off some tracts.

Be present.

Richard Ford said, “When people realize they’re being listened to, they tell you things.”  This is something that only happens in the context of relationships.  When we are present in people’s lives and listen to their stories, we also start to learn about them.  We learn their passions, their fears, their pains, their suffering, and their joy.

When Lazarus dies, we see this in Jesus.  He weeps.  He sits their with the family and cries.  His presence communicates something.  He actually cares.

“There is also a time to simply become part of the very fabric of a community and to engage in the humanity of it all. Furthermore, the idea of presence highlights the role of relationships in mission. If relationship is the key means in the transfer of the gospel, then it simply means we are going to have to be directly present to the people in our circle...one of the profound implications of our presence as representatives of Jesus is that Jesus actually likes to hang out with the people we hang out with. They get the implied message that God actually likes them.” - Alan Hirsch, Forgotten Ways

Do you like the people you want to reach?  Because if you want to reach them with the Gospel, you need to be present in their lives.

Love.

If you are being present in the lives of people you want to hear the Gospel, it’s also important that we love, period. This is often difficult because when we have in mind the goal of “preaching the Gospel,” this also becomes the focus of our relationships.  But in order to earn the right to be heard, we must love without an agenda.  We should absolutely have a desire to share the Gospel in this relationship; that’s important and will naturally flow out of our love for that person.

But it must also be considered, will I still be friends with this person if they don’t get "saved"?

John writes, “Love one another as I have loved you.”

When Christ loves, he loves with no strings attached.  It’s not I’ll love you if you come to this bible study.  It’s not I’ll love you if you agree with this statement.  It’s not I’ll love you if you agree with my political views.  It’s I love you, period.  And then that love is demonstrated in suffering and death.

And John calls us to love like Jesus loved.  This means we love even if they never come to church with us.  This means we love even if they continually bash the church and our beliefs.  This means we love even if everything in you thinks they don’t deserve it.

And what does this look like.  I believe someone once wrote, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”