My 10 Favorite Posts of 2013

Over the past year, I have had several blog posts and wanted to share with you 10 of my favorites.  I could easily share the 10 most popular posts, but as Seth Godin said - “Best is rarely the same as popular.”  Some of those posts were popular and others of them hardly got read.  Regardless these are some posts that you should check out. 10. Outsourced Parenting.  Parents can outsource any job they have; are you outsourcing the job of discipling your children?

9. Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?  Is Halloween a pagan holiday or is there something redemptive hidden within this holiday?

8. God’s Calling is About More Than Some Day.  Following God’s call is not a matter of figuring out what God wants you to do in the future, but is more a matter of figuring out where God has placed you right now and how he might use you in those places.

7.7 Practices that Make Church Weird.  Church is weird.  You may not realize it if you’ve been going your whole life, but it is.

6. Duck Dynasty Controversy.  The blogosphere went crazy when the whole Duck Dynasty controversy took place.  This post recorded some of my thoughts on the whole fiasco and what we could learn from it.

5. The Power of Habit.  Habits either destroy us or they are incredibly helpful. What habits have you formed?

4. How to Memorize the Bible in only 5 Minutes a Day.  Memorization is all about repetition, repetition, repetition.  And given some discipline in 5 minutes every morning, you could be on your way to memorizing a ton of scripture this next year.

3. The Definition of Marriage Has Already Changed.  The way Christians have defined marriage is no longer the way that culture defines marriage.  This isn’t simply a matter of politics - it has changed regardless of what government decides.  How will Christians respond?

2. Hey Macklemore!  Teach Me About Preaching.  Macklemore is one of the most popular preachers in our culture.  He even preaches about taboo topics that aren’t supposed to be talked about.  In his rapping and creativity, there is something significant we can learn about the preaching of God’s word.

1. Blue Jeans and God’s Calling

Eric makes blue jeans because God has called him to make blue jeans.

But here’s what’s interesting; when initially talking about all the things that he is passionate about in his business and the journey into it, he struggled connecting his faith and God’s calling to his small factory in Detroit.  After all, he never heard God tell him to make blue jeans.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Laugh. Play. Open presents. Eat a ton of cookies. Stay in your Christmas jammies as long as possible.

And of course, remember a King has been born.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.  - Isaiah 9:6-7

Duck Dynasty Controversy

If you haven't yet heard about the Duck Dynasty controversy, you likely haven't spent much time on the internet in the past 24 hours.   The guilty parties are A&E and Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame.  After an interview with GQ, A&E put Phil Robertson on an indefinite hiatus from the show.  A&E responded to the interview by saying, "We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson's comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series 'Duck Dynasty.'"  There are people fuming in anger that A&E would censor a man's Christian beliefs and see this as an attack on freedom of religion and freedom of speech.  And there are others who applaud A&E for what they've done, finding Phil's comments offensive to LGBT people.

In the midst of all this, I thought I'd share a few thoughts that have been helpful for me as I've thought through and read about the controversy.  As with any controversy, a lot of people are quick to speak and attack all kinds of people - I''m less interested in attacking and more in talking about what can we, as Christians, learn from this and be reminded of.  I hope Duck Dynasty continues for many  more seasons.  I hope Phil Robertson returns and continues doing what he's doing on the show.  And I hope that Christians always speak the truth in love.

The way we talk about homosexuality matters.

If I said what Phil Robertson said in his GQ interview, I would have gotten in big trouble by my employer.  And I work in a church -  a  church that is full of passionate conservatives and a church theologically opposed to a homosexual lifestyle.  There are a couple of areas in the article in which homosexuality has come up.  Most quoted by those who are upset when referencing the GQ article is Phil referencing Corinthians when asked "What in your mind, is sinful?":

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” - from GQ interview with Phil Robertson

But that's not all he said about homosexuality.  If he simply said this, I would completely understand the anger and say it is justified.  It'd be justified because while a lot of people wouldn't agree with him, he's simply paraphrasing the Bible.  And this is a belief that A&E already knew about - there is no way in all the seasons of Duck Dynasty that A&E just now figured out that the Robertson are biblically opposed to a homosexual lifestyle.

Phil also said this:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” - from GQ interview with Phil Robertson

Homosexuality may be illogical, in fact I would argue it is.  It is sin.  In fact, I would even say that what Phil said was accurate - and probably puts words to what many people have thought.  But what he said in GQ is not the way I would go about describing it.  Phil Robertson should have probably kept that statement between him and the friends he hunts with and not said in an interview that would be broadcast to the world... but Phil may also not be concerned with that.

Christians absolutely need to find ways to talk about their faith - but there will always be certain things that we should say and other things that we shouldn't say.  I'm not sure that this issue for A&E was about Phil being a Christian who is opposed to homosexuality, but more of he is a star on A&E's network who spoke about his issue with homosexuality in a way that was perceived as crude.

As a youth worker, if I want to talk to my students about what the Bible teaches about homosexuality - saying what Phil Robertson said does not open the door for conversations with students who struggle with homosexuality.  I don't believe Phil was intending to be crude or stir up controversy - but I wouldn't say it the way he said it.  If we truly believe a homosexual lifestyle is sinful, we also need to approach it in a way that allows for us to have conversations with people who struggle - and this won't happen by ridiculing or making fun of their struggle.

A&E is a business and will respond in a way that they think is good for business

Some have argued that A&E is not allowing for Christians to have free speech.  This may in fact be the case, which would be a shame.  But I think it is far more likely is that A&E is trying to protect their brand.  A&E wants to sell products, keep viewers, and attract other successful TV shows.  A&E likely made the call they did to prevent backlash from a LGBT supporters who would be very vocal about the things that Phil Robertson said.  A&E now is feeling backlash from passionate fans of Duck Dynasty.  Whatever A&E decides long term is probably not going to be rooted in a moral agenda - they are not going to change their mind about Phil Robertson because they feel they were wrong and they are not going to stick to their guns because they believe in gay marriage - they are going to do what they think will make them the most money.

And that decision may mean bringing back Phil.  And it might mean Phil Robertson doesn't return.

GQ was clearly looking to stir up controversy

Read the GQ interview.  GQ is loving every minute of this controversy because people are flocking to their website and buying issues of their magazine.  And that's exactly what they wanted.  It's actually a very interesting article, but it also very clearly trying to stir up some drama.  Phil was asked about politics, his faith, civil rights, and more.  The interview is obviously shaped by the author's own beliefs (as would happen with any journalist):

It’s the direction he would like to point everyone: back to the woods. Back to the pioneer spirit. Back to God. “Why don’t we go back to the old days?” he asked me at one point. But now, I’m afraid, I must get out of the ATV and go back to where I belong, back to the godless part of America that Phil is determined to save. - from GQ interview with Phil Robertson

GQ interviewed Phil Robertson and asked questions just hoping for the perfect sound bit that would spread like wildfire on the internet.  In fact, if you read the article you will see the potential for several of those, not to mention the same kind of language that people are upset with by the author. The homosexuality one took and GQ is reaping the rewards of the controversy.  A&E is suffering in this fiasco.  Duck Dynasty and Phil Robertson will have consequences because of this.  GQ will make a bunch of money.

How To Memorize the Bible in Only 5 Minutes a Day

Memorizing scripture can be a daunting and intimidating task.  I have oftentimes made well-intentioned efforts to memorize both long and short passages of scriptures, knowing that there is something significant about the discipline of memorizing bible verses.  Recently I was introduced to a system for memorizing scripture that still requires discipline, but also will set you up to make scripture memorization a part of your daily devotional life and doesn't take much more than five minutes a day.

One blogger wrote, "Practice makes perfect. An accomplished musician may not be able to explain how he can play a particular line of music so well and with such speed. His learning started with slow movements and progressed through repetition, repetition, and more repetition."

If you want to memorize scripture, you need to repeat it often.  Repeat it daily; repeat it audibly. And then do it again.

How to Memorize the Bible in Only 5 Minutes a Day

1. Repeat it once daily for 7 weeks. This means that every day you will be saying the scripture you have chosen out loud.  The first week you should do this with one verse, the second week add a second, and so on.  By the 8th week, you will be always doing 7 verses daily and moving verses out of the daily category and into the weekly category.

2. Repeat it once weekly for 7 months. Once you've repeated a verse out loud for 7 weeks, you should have it pretty well memorized.  But you don't want to forget it so repeating it weekly will keep it on your mind.  At the end of 7 months (while also still doing other verses weekly and daily) you will move that verse into the monthly category.

3. Repeat it once monthly for 7 years.  Okay this seems a bit extreme, but at this point we are just making sure it sticks in our memory forever.

This system can be formatted however you want, and I actually learned this from Paul Arndt who learned from a man named Tom Frost.  If you want to see a more detailed what Tom's system looks like on paper, you can check out the charts that he uses to keep track of his memorization schedule.  The way that I have begun using this system is by using the Bible app by YouVersion.

How I use the Bible App to help with this process:

1. Highlight and Bookmark.  When I find a verse I want to memorize, I make sure to highlight and add it to my bookmarks so I can very quickly find it later.

2. Label appropriately.  Once it's highlighted I will created labels like, "1) Daily" so I remember which order I am memorizing them in and how often I need to be practicing each verse.

3. Set reading plan notifications.  Having a list of verses to memorize is not helpful if you don't actually remember to do it.  I use the Bible app's reading plan notifications to remind me each morning to read the Bible; when the notification comes up I am reminded that I need to practice my memory verses.

“I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture. . . . No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be sharper and much more effective. Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified.” - Chuck Swindoll

Parenting: The Role of Coach

In ninth grade, I played on the football team. It was my first time ever playing football. I was a scrawny, little freshman on JV, trying to figure out how to tackle, learn plays, and how to hit a receiver in stride running a fade. At the end of every sports season, we would celebrate with an awards banquet. The awards banquet meant all the fall sports would gather together with friends and family and celebrate the past season, give awards to the Varsity athletes, and honor the seniors.

During the awards banquet, the varsity football coach got up and began giving his speech that would eventually lead into all the different awards. And he began to talk about me. Scrawny, freshmen, just learned to play football, me. And keep in mind, this is in front of my friends and my family and my teammates. And he began to talk about the beginning of football season and how I worked. I showed up. I showed up in early summer at a football camp, having never played a down of football in my life besides at recess. I’d never lifted a weight in my life, never learned a football play in my life. And I showed up and wanted to work and learn to play football. And he talked, in front of all these people, about how hard I worked.

Now when tenth grade football season came around, how do you think I responded when it was time to start putting in that work again? Do you think I just blew it off and said, “Oh, it’s really hard”? Do you think I sloughed it off and said, “You know what, guys, this is not this important; we’ll get to it in August when mandatory practice is starting”?

No, in tenth grade, I worked even harder than ninth grade because my coach saw something in me, and he pointed something out in me. In tenth grade, I wanted to work even harder at football. I wanted to live up to my coach’s expectations because my coach saw something, and he brought out the best in me. That’s what a good coach does. A coach brings out the best in his players.

“When you wake up”

The beginning of the day is a time when you get an opportunity to play the role of coach and bring out the best in your kids.

As a coach, you can look forward into the day with your kids. On the sideline of the day, with your arms around your kids, you can look at all the things your kids are about to face. You can point out the trials that they’re gonna face because you will probably know your kids schedule. You will have listened to them, and you know the troubles that they’re facing, and you can look forward into the day and say, “Here’s what you’re going to be up against today.”

As you prepare your kids for college, you can look forward into all that they’re going to go through, all that they’re going to face, and all the questions that they’re going to have. As your kids prepare to have families of their own, as a coach, you can stand alongside them and look forward to all the things that they’re going to face and not only do you look forward, but you can also point out the best in them. You remind them, “This is who you are. This is who God’s created you to be. And here’s what you’re going to face, but here’s what I know about you.”

Because as a coach, our job is to bring out the best in our kids. And the way we bring out the best in our kids is by loving them. Loving them for who they are and not what they do.

In our world, it’s so easy for our identity, especially our children’s identity, to get wrapped up in performance and in other people’s descriptions. And our kids’ identity gets wrapped up in their academic achievement, their athletic abilities, what their teacher thinks of them, what their peers think of them, whether they’re popular, or whether they’re picked on. As we become adults, and we start to figure out our career, our identity gets wrapped up in how well we do at our job, how well we climb the corporate ladder, how much money we make. It gets wrapped up in what other people think of us, what our spouse thinks of us, what our friends think of us, whether people like us or don’t like us.

And what we can do for our kids is we can affirm them not based on their academic achievement or their athletic ability, but on who they are. Because we love our kids because they’re our children. We love our kids not because of what they do, but because of who they are.

And as parents, you know your kids better than anybody else in the world. And so you, as a parent, can look at them and see the way that they’ve been uniquely wired. The passions, the talents, the gifts that God has given them, the way he’s knit them together in their mother’s womb. You can look at them and say, “You are God’s workmanship, and he’s created you exactly the way he wants you to be.”

As a coach, we can bring out the best. We get to stand on the sidelines of life and cheer our kids on, point out the schemes of the defense, and tell them we are proud of them.

What are some ways you can play the role of coach in your home?

The Power of Habit

If you’ve ever received an ad in the mail from Target you are experiencing an organization studying habits.  You may not have realized it by Target actually studies their customers in order to determine what to advertise and to whom to advertise. Target studies the habits of their customers, because if they can better understand the customers’ habits they can also better begin to predict which products they should advertise to those customers, because if they know which customers in which stages of their life are most likely to buy which items, then they can send advertisements that are very directed to those consumers.

One of the most valuable consumers for a company like Target to market to is pregnant women, because what Target realizes is that if they can attract a pregnant woman to begin shopping at Target, they also know is that when she has her baby she will continue to shop at Target.  And when a new mother shops at Target she does not go into Target to only buy diapers, because a new mother is busy, and so while she’s at Target she will also buy groceries. And while she’s there she may pick up a few cards for her relatives and the birthdays coming up. And while she’s passing the entertainment section, maybe she’ll pick out a movie for her and her husband to watch later. And since she’s there, maybe she’ll even buy that bathing suit that she’s been eyeing all season.  

As Target studies the habits of these pregnant women, it’s not such a simple process. It’s not as easy as Target looking at which women buy baby clothes and that means they’re pregnant. In fact, it’s much deeper, because not only do pregnant women buy baby clothes.  So do grandmothers, aunts, uncles, or people going to baby showers. So baby clothes could be an indicator to Target that a woman is pregnant, but it could also be an indicator that somebody is just going to a baby shower. Instead, Target looks for other things. For example, expectant mothers buy a significant amount of lotion. Now, many people going to Target will buy lotion, but pregnant women buy an unusually large amount of it and it’s always scent free. Sometime in the first 20 weeks of their pregnancy pregnant women will load up on scent free lotion. Now, many people buy things like vitamins at Target, but pregnant women will load up on vitamins, magnesium, calcium, and zinc sometime in the early stages of their pregnancy. So if Target, as they study the habits of their customers, notices somebody buying something like soap and cotton balls it may mean nothing; but if that soap is scent free soap and in addition to the cotton balls they are loading up on washcloths and this has happened months after buying scent free lotion and vitamins, calcium, magnesium, and zinc, this indicates to Target that not only is this woman pregnant, but she is approaching her due date. All from studying the habits of Target’s shoppers they can not only know if a woman is pregnant, but they can also predict when she is going to have her baby.

*this insight and more like it can be found in the book The Power of Habit.

Humans are creatures of habit.

We have habits that we routinely go through each and every morning. Businesses study our habits so they can increase their bottom line. A company like Google is the internet giant they are, not because of their great search engine, but because of the amount of information they have about our internet habits.  When I go to restaurants I order the same food that I order every time I go to that restaurant.  Why? Because I'm a creature of habit.

Habits can be both incredibly helpful and dangerously destructive. They can help us deepen our relationship with our spouse, with our family. They can help us take care of our bodies, our physical, our mental, our social well being. They can even help us deepen and grow in our understanding of the scriptures.  We can form habits around the study of scripture, disciplining ourselves to be in the word - to read and memorize scriptures.  We can form habits around our prayer life and around family devotions.  Habits are an important part of our life.  At the same time, habits can also be harmful. Our habits can destroy relationships. Our habits can harm us physically and mentally and socially, and our habits can even drive a wedge between us and God.

Blue Jeans and God's Calling

Eric Yelsma is the founder and owner of Detroit Denim, a company founded on the idea of building the highest quality craft blue jeans, made 100% in the United States.  I got the chance to hang out with Eric and his team one afternoon and hear a bit of his story about how he started his business.  As Eric talked about his love for blue jeans, the craftsmanship of the jeans they create, and the spirit of the company that he is trying to build I could not help but see God’s hand all over it.  Eric creates his products with high excellence only using products and materials that are made in the United States.  He emphasizes a “spirit of abundance” in the workplace, encouraging his team to act with generosity towards those around him.  As we talked about his faith and his work, one employee even chimed in stating that she sees the influence of his faith on their company every day and quickly started bragging on Eric’s character and the work environment he’s created.

Eric makes blue jeans because God has called him to make blue jeans.

But here’s what’s interesting; when initially talking about all the things that he is passionate about in his business and the journey into it, he struggled connecting his faith and God’s calling to his small factory in Detroit.  After all, he never heard God tell him to make blue jeans.

So Eric runs a blue jean company and does it by making the best product possible, does it with generosity, runs his company with integrity, treats his employees well, and only uses products that come from places where the workers are paid fairly... but he initially has trouble seeing God’s calling in it.  As Christians when we talk about God’s calling, we tend to immediately start separating the sacred and the secular.  We think of God’s calling as some mystical act in which God audibly speaks to some calling them out to become pastors, priests or missionaries, yet when we think of the ordinary jobs we think of something far more normal.  We rarely think of the assembly-line workers, the stay-at-home moms, and the baristas as experiencing God’s calling.  But what if we did?

Martin Luther said:

“The maid who sweeps here kitchen is doing the will of God just as much as the monk who prays - not because she may sing a Christian hymn as she sweeps but because God loves clean floors.  The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship.”

Maybe you are like Eric was.  Maybe you have never thought what you did had anything to do with your belief in Jesus.  Maybe the daily commute, the making copies, the trips to refill your coffee, and getting your TPS reports in time has never seemed much like a calling to you.  Maybe you spend the majority of your time trying to keep your house clean and your kids fed all the while never once considering it your Christian duty.

We don’t decide our vocations, we discover them.

The word vocation literally means “calling.” This word needs some re-claiming; it needs to be taken back to help remind us that the things that seem so ordinary and every day are much more sacred then we have imagined. And the sacred things that we so often call “spiritual” are much more ordinary than we have imagined. God has called everyone. And he has done it by placing you in workplaces, in families, in neighborhoods, in schools and uniquely creating you with your own gifts, abilities, passions, and skills.

From the time we are little we are asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And then you enter college and are bombarded with pressure to get your career path worked out. But if we are really talking about calling, we don’t really decide our vocation, do we? It’s not that deciding your career path is bad, but how often do we end up exactly where we planned on being when we were 18? If vocation literally means “calling”, we are not the ones doing the work. We are not the ones doing the calling.  We are just discovering it.

You may not have realized that being a student is your vocation, but if you are in school, you are called to be a student. You may have not realized that the responsibility to take care of your kids is a calling form God, but if you have kids, it is. You may not realize that making copies, cleaning bathrooms, and typing into a spreadsheet could be a calling, but if that’s where God place you it is. God has called you to the places he has put you in right now, and he also will call you to other places throughout your life. Places in which he has given you unique relationships and unique opportunities to use your gifts, passions, and skills to make a big deal of Jesus.

Also, Eric shot an awesome video with us seeing God's calling in his work as a blue jean designer; if you haven't seen it, it's pretty awesome.

[tentblogger-vimeo 72840026]

Parenting: The Role of Friend

[This is an excerpt from a sermon preached on June 9th, 2013.] 

Do you enjoy your kids?  Do you delight in them? In the book of Proverbs, in Chapter 3, it says, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”  Now talking about parenting, it could be easy to focus on the idea of discipline, but what about the latter half of that verse, “The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”  There's no doubt that if you are a parent you have to discipline, but do you also delight?

Relationship > Lecture

Most of us want to be able to teach our kids well.  We want to teach our kids the Scriptures, we want to teach them to value the right things, we want to teach them to do what is right, we want to teach them about Christ.  And the list could go on.  And if you ever want to be effective in the role of teacher, you have to also play the role of friend.  It's easy to ignore this and say, "Well, friendship, that’s not that significant.  That’s nowhere near the role of teacher.”  But if you want to play the role of teacher, you have to play the role of friend.  Because teaching without a relationship is just a lecture.  It doesn’t matter how life-changing the content of the things you have to say to your kids is, if the context of that is not in a loving relationship with their parents.

Your kids do not care how much you know.  They don’t care the influence you have in your organizations.  They don’t care about all the wisdom that you’ve learned.  They don’t even care if the very experience that they are going through is the exact same thing you went through when you were their age.  They don’t care.  But you better believe your kids know how much you care.  That they know when you’re there for them.  They know when you’re listening to them.  They know when you’re present physically but not present emotionally.  Your kids know how much you care.

Parenting: The Role of Teacher

[This is an excerpt from a sermon preached on June 9th, 2013.] 

Growing up, my dad would call family meetings occasionally. And as a kid - I remember hating family meeting time. Because what that meant for us was we couldn’t immediately be excused and go run back downstairs to continue the videogame that we had paused, or go back outside to continue our basketball game on the driveway. No, instead, we had to sit around the table and listen to what my dad had to say. And so, my dad would share with us. And I don’t remember the content of what we talked about in those family meetings. But what I do remember is that in the times of family meetings, something was important to my dad, and he wanted it to be important to us as kids.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” - Deuteronomy 6

When Moses says, “Talk about these things when you sit at home,” he does so because what he realizes is that you are going to sit down, that your kids have to eat; you have to eat. And so, when you do, how do you use the time that you have?  Dinnertime is an opportunity for you to play the role of teacher. It’s an opportunity for you to play the role of teacher, which helps you establish value in your homes.  As you sit at dinner with your kids, you can teach them. You can teach them the things that are important to you and that you want to be important to them. You can teach them the things that you read in the Scriptures that you want them to cling to in their lives.  For some of us, this might mean that dinner should look different. It might mean we have to actually have dinner with the family. It might mean the TV needs to be turned off at dinnertime, or the phones get put away.  Dinnertime is an opportunity for you to play the role of teacher.

Disciples are made through teaching...

When Jesus is leading the disciples, he’s equipping them, and they’re about to go out and start the Christian church, he gives them a command. And he says, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations.” The job of the disciples, as followers of Jesus, is to be disciple makers. The job for us as followers of Jesus is to make followers of Jesus. Our homes is one of the best environments to help our kids grow as disciples of Jesus. And so, when Jesus gives the disciples this command, he says, “Go and make disciples of all nations.” And the way he instructs them to do this is by, “Teaching them to obey everything I have commanded them.”  If you want to help your kids grow to follow Jesus, you have to play the role of teacher. It doesn’t have to be at dinnertime, but you have to play the role of teacher.

Teaching happens not only through talking, but it also happens through modeling. When your kids are little especially, it’s gonna happen primarily through talking. They will copy you, and you will model things, but you are gonna be teaching your kids a lot of truths. You’re gonna teach them, “We believe the Bible. The Bible is true. This is how you pray. Jesus loves you.” But as your kids get older and older and older, more and more of the lessons that they will learn from you are going to be the things that they see you do. The things you say are still important, but more and more is gonna be taught through the things you do.  They will be taught lessons about marriage by how you interact with your spouse. They will be taught about grace and forgiveness by how you respond to them when they sin.  They will be learning about conflict based on how you respond to conflict in your family. This is why my wife and I, as adults, are still learning incredible lessons from our parents.  Even though neither one of our parents has sat down and told us the principles to having a healthy, happy marriage, we can both look to our parents and say, “That’s the type of marriage I would like to have when we are their age.”  We can look at our parents and say, “When my son has kids, I would like to be those type of grandparents.” They have never told us or taught us their philosophy on being a parent or a grandparent, but we can see that.

"Just copy Dad"

The Apostle Paul says, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.” As he’s teaching his church, he says, “Follow me as I follow Jesus.” In your homes, can you say that? Can you, as a dad, say, “If you want to copy Jesus, if you want to know how to live like Jesus, just copy dad, ‘cause I’m copying Jesus”? As a mom, can you say, “If you want to live like Jesus, if you want to show the grace and the mercy like Jesus shows, just copy mom, ‘cause mom is copying Jesus”?  This is a difficult, important task for all parents.

[Feel free to also read an introduction about this, Outsourced Parenting]